What do I really want....

have you ever asked yourself this question and been brutally honest about it?  No, seriously.  Do you know what you really want?

Not what you say to yourself is acceptable by "society" standards/norms.

No, not that.

Not what you believe you want based on the job you have currently, or what you have been training/trained to do.

No.

Not what everyone tells you is something you are really good at and you should "go into" because you have a gift/talent/ability.

Not that either.

I'm talking about the thing that keeps you up at night.  The longing in your heart.  The reason you only have a half-smile.  The thing or things that keep you from being fully, completely happy for your friends and acquaintances.

So....be honest with yourself for once.  Don't lie about it anymore.

What is it that you REALLY, TRULY want?  The thing your soul cries out for?

Maybe it's time you started investing in making those dreams reality.

Just thought I would put it out there for you.

Have a wonderful time, everyone.  Peace.

A Little Bit of This...a little bit of that

It's been a while since I've typed anything.  And I feel bad about that, honestly.  I miss writing; I miss the clack of the keys, of my thoughts taking shape and being formed into stories, or even more...but honestly, I've been really consumed with my life.

Watching my son grow up - he started school this year and watching him learn and become this really awesome guy is just...well, it's just amazing!  He loves to read, he's on a tee ball team and he wants to play soccer, too...what a change from this time last year!  He's also taking piano lessons from an amazing teacher...she's one of the best, truthfully.

I'm so honored to be raising him; I consider it a privilege.

My husband has made a major life decision that will allow him to more actively pursue his dreams!  This makes me happy beyond measure!

I'm just living and loving my life.

I do have a reason for getting on here, though, so forgive me if this post is a bit long.

One thing I can say is that I'm so happy with the way my life is at the very present moment.  I love my husband and my son so much.  We all love each other so much, and we love to be with each other and around each other.

We are close-knit and I pray that we always will be.  My family is like that, no matter if we talk on the phone or not; we can pick up just where we left off and our relationships are very solid.  I love them all for everything they have done to enrich my life, and I know that they are a true blessing from God.

I am so thankful for all that I have.  God has been beyond good to me.  I'm praising and thanking Him in advance for those blessings I've asked for - and this year, I'm asking for some "crazy" supernatural type things that only He can do.

I believe.  I know it will come to pass.  I will wait on God.

Okay, I just wanted to write all this down for you.  I hope and pray that all is well for you, and that you are walking in your purpose for your life.

Thanks for reading, and may you be blessed.

Peace.

....

there are some times in my life when I wonder if there are lessons that I just haven't learned, if there are things that I just keep repeating because I just don't get it.

In this season of change, here's what's transpired since I last wrote:

-That person has been out of my life, but sent me a cryptic message this week?  Not sure what to make of that one...

-Sean has become a Kindergarten Star.  He's great.  And he's growing everyday.  He's now taking piano and LOVING it. :)

-Husband says he wants to try a different line of work.  My heart is beyond overjoyed.  That means soon he'll be home with us in the evenings. :)

-I may be out of work next year.  Yes, teaching isn't the stable market it used to be.  On another note, I may lose my certification also...sheesh.

-I'm really trying hard to keep it all together.  I'm trying so hard.  I want some relief.  I need a personal sabbatical.

-I'm trying to have more babies.  And I'm working really hard at it, too. ;)

Okay, just wanted to give you an update, and perhaps, hopefully, in the near future, I'll give you more details.

Sometimes it's just good to put it all out there.  I'm so tired.

Well, take care.  Hope to blog with you again soon. :)

Tears

I'm ready to burst into tears at any moment for any reason...and actually, it's just for one reason. 
I'll never understand why until it's all over, I suppose...but it's my own fault.  I suppose it has to do with choice.

While I'm not unhappy with my choice, in fact, I'm very happy with it, I still wonder about the other choice.  The other choice might have caused me to walk a very different path, but I might have been just as happy...or...

but I will never know.  I do know that I'm so sad right now because...well, because of him.

I just need a day or two to get this all out of my system.

I promise to return to my normal laughing smiling happy self.

Just not today.

Today, I need to let it all out.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well! Have I got some things to share with you!

...it's been far too long!  I'm so sorry!  But, since I have posted, a LOT of things have happened.

First, my brother Anthony got married!  I was a bridesmaid, and it was absolutely wonderful.  It was such a beautiful and intimate wedding.  To be honest, there were a lot more people there than I originally thought would come for such a small affair.  But, it was...without trying to sound like a story...just right. :)

I enjoyed having such a great time with my family.  It was such an amazing time.

Also, we watched as much of the Olympics as we possibly could.  Both my husband and son were ready to evict me because I wanted ALL Olympics ALL the time! LOL!  I was a little fanatical, but I love sports, and the Olympics only comes around every four years!  ;D

My mother in law (Mom Roland) had open heart surgery.  I was not nervous about the surgery, in fact, I pretty much knew she would be fine...but it was my brothers in law that had me getting all anxious - that and the fact that we had to leave to return to Maryland on the DAY of her surgery!!!!

Initially, her surgery and my brother's wedding were scheduled for the same day (I can't make this stuff up!), but the doctor pushed the date back - and this was not the first time he had changed the date on us.  In July, we were expecting a call any day to head to Texas...but they rescheduled to August, and then changed it so we almost missed being with her, even though it hurt my heart so much to leave her. 

She's truly like my other mother.  No one can replace my Mommy, but my mother in law is truly my mother also. :)   I know some of you out there know exactly what I'm talking about.

Sean has completed his first week of Kindergarten!  So far, nothing but success!  He's happy and so are we!  And, yes, we photographed his first day as if he was a celebrity.  In fact, as Dray was filming a video of us walking into the school, Sean turned to him and said, "I'm getting really tired of this." 
LOL!!!!!  I couldn't help but laugh about it, poor kid - we did turn his first day of school into a celebrity paparazzi filled press conference kind of day!  ;P

My first day is on Monday, and I'm excited.  I had to endure a bit of drama, but trust me, that is for another post.  I'm truly excited and so grateful for this school year, and I look forward to all the blessings God has for me and my family this year.  I hope that the Lord shines his lovingkindness and goodness on each and every one of you! 

Peace.

So much....

since my last post.  I wanted to write and write and write.  I truly did.  Now, though, I just don't have it in me to do.

It's late, but this is very overdue.  So, what has happened since we last got together?

Well, I am no longer teaching math.  I will be teaching, instead, introduction to engineering and design, considering this is my background.  I'm excited about the challenge, but, it would be nice to get the opportunity to teach something for longer than a year or so before I teach a different subject I've never taught before. :)

I consider it an honor and privilege, though, because that must mean they (administration, etc.) believe I will be successful.  What more can I say and what else could I ask for? :)

My brother is getting married.  In about three weeks, actually.  I'm excited and happy for him as he prepares to embark on this journey.  Oh, and he's also taking the Texas State Bar next week.

Good times. ;)

Sean is going to Kindergarten, and as the days get closer, I become more of a wreck.  But, truthfully, inside of my inner mom watching her baby grow before her very eyes, I sense a calm coming.  He's the most wonderful thing.  I love him so, and I believe he will be a great success at school.

Okay, that's all I've got for now.  I'm off.

It was great to see you again.

I promise to update again...and hopefully sooner rather than later.

I should do this way more often than I do.

Peace.

I'm tired, and I need a break!!!!

It's almost the end of the school year and I have run out of steam.  I need a serious vacation, and I am doing my level best to keep myself from breaking down into tears at any moment.

I love my work and teaching is probably one of the best things that has happened to me.  However, I don't think that most people realize the drain, stress and strain it puts on your body, mind, and soul.  I know that each and everyday, there are educators across this great nation that go to work and give every single thing they have to their students.

This leaves their family and friends with what is left.  And I know for me, it's not fair to my son or my husband.  I definitely need to work on a proper life/home/work balance.

I'm toast.

Hopefully this summer will rejuvenate and relax me so I can come back with renewed vigor and be ready to be the best each I can be.

I love learning and growing at every possibility.  I hope to become one of the greatest educators in the nation, maybe even the world.

God bless and may you all love your work as much as I do!

Peace.