So, I've been realizing that in the course of my blogging, most of my blogs have been about what's going on in my relationships. I suppose that's normal, especially when, right now, all I want to do is find something funny or witty to say and I can't. I really can't.
I'm feeling a lot like an alien. Like I'm not from here, nor do I belong here. When I say here, I'm referring to Maryland, and the life here in general.
I've been here for almost four years now, and even I cannot believe it. Within these four years, I have made only two or three friends that I truly love and know are truly my friends. One of them moved away to Florida, so that leaves me with what - one or two?
I want to reach out more and actually have tried some, not a lot, to reach out to others, but I don't really see anyone reaching back out to me.
I know that I'm a mommy, and my son comes first (and with me, almost everywhere I go...believe me, I'm really over it, and would LOVE to have a baby sitter on call...). And, I'm happily married, so I enjoy being with my husband.
However, that doesn't mean that I don't need or want girlfriends in my life.
In fact, when I see other people I try to get to know or at least see on a regular basis enjoying each other's company and having a good time, I feel excluded and alone, like being all by myself in a crowd of people.
It's not that anyone has done anything to make me feel this way, it's that it is the way I feel.
I've said it time and again, I'm so tired of being alone. Really. I know I'm not alone because God is always there, but, as I've said to Him on many occasions, it's nice to have a physical flesh and blood person to hold on to.
I guess I'll keep looking....
No comments:
Post a Comment