The Person I was...

Is definitely not the person I am now. I remember that lil girl sooo well. And I remember the straight forward serious teenager who gave way more than she got from lots of her friendships (no names, no blames).

I also remember the young woman who lost a lot of her self esteem in college, fell deeper in love with her boyfriend (who is now her husband), and how she made some missteps with her friendships, personal relationships, and career choices.

Now, though, is someone, a full grown woman, who is doing her best to dump some of that baggage off to the side. I don't need it. And, frankly, it's done so much to deter me from pursuing my dreams and desires. I have been in a rut. Emotionally, physically, mentally.

I like knowing that I've changed. I've become more about myself than other people, but still keep others so much a part of why I do what I do. I guess some things never really do change.

:)

But, even in my desire to always help somebody else and be the shoulder and be the friend, I have learned how special I am. That I am special. Hey! That's a breakthrough for me.

That I don't have to look to others for any kind of approval (or disapproval) because I am enough. That God is good and He loves me for who I am, and in spite of my shortcomings.

That I have some amazing talents and abilities, and since I have them, I should share them. :)

And that even as I am happy for others successes, it's perfectly okay for me to celebrate my own.

That's all for now. And, I want to end with this: I'm sure there are people in my past that I probably should apologize to. And, I'm sure there are people who knew me once that think they know me now. I don't have the infinite ability to change their minds, nor should I feel compelled to do so. I know who I am, and it is not the person they may think I am. I am better, brighter, and more beautiful than I was then. I am wiser, more humble, and more grateful for everything that I have. I am not a mean or bitter person, I do not think about how much I dislike someone else, or why my life is better than theirs whenever their name is mentioned. I am GROWN. And I am happy to be the person I am, with or without you in my life, whoever you are.

Peace.