Now, about my friend...

Okay, I hope you know I wasn't fully finished talking about my guy friend. I really do care way too much about this guy. I've figured that out all on my own, thank you very much. :)

Now, here's my biggest issue with him to date.

He's so...secretive or I should say...withheld. Maybe withheld is the better word. Here is what I mean by that. If I ask him a very straightforward question, such as, "What is it exactly that you want from me?" He would answer "Your friendship". I would have to ask several questions to get more information from him that would actually adequately answer my question.

Another example...I told him that I love him and we were saying goodnight, getting off the phone with each other. He couldn't tell me that he loved me too. Instead, I thought I heard him say "I love you" but wasn't sure, and I asked him to repeat himself clearly. He says, "I love getting emails. You should send me one." We got off the phone, and he had to call me back to tell me that he did love me.

Sheesh. I'm not sure if I'm dealing with someone who is so emotionally scarred from past relationships that he is hesitant to acknowledge or admit his feelings or if I'm dealing with one of the best actors on the East coast. :)

Either way, I am trying to develop a relationship (clearly) and I have no business doing so. I should be kicking my own butt for it...trust me, I'm working on it.

And I probably need a twelve step...or thirty step to get through it...because I really do have feelings for him and I've got to work through them and let them go so I can focus on my beautiful marriage to my wonderful and amazing husband with our beautiful life and handsome son.

Okay, I think I've gotten everything off my chest about this...but I feel something lingering only because I just really want the truth out of him. I don't think it will change anything...especially not my marriage (come on, now), but I just feel I need to know.

I'll pray that my quest for knowledge ends here and I can just let this move forward so I can preserve the relationship I do have with him...he is my friend after all. Or...well, what do you think?

I'd love to know.

Peace.

NSWR