Right now, I'm feeling absolutely sorry for myself. I'll get over myself in a couple of days, I'm sure. I don't feel well, compounded by the fact that my husband will be working non stop on our anniversary this Saturday, and I have nothing to look forward to in the way of a vacation or a break until Christmas. I'm so tired, and I need a friend. I just wanna cry.
And the thing is, I don't necessarily want to talk about it, because I don't want to sound like I'm whining or that I can't take a little adversity.
I'm just tired, and I need a break. I need a big one. Some relief, and a huge bag of money (preferably filled with hundred dollar bills).
Well, that's all I've got right now. I guess I'll go cry in a corner now.
Peace.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Totally Disconnected
So, I've been realizing that in the course of my blogging, most of my blogs have been about what's going on in my relationships. I suppose that's normal, especially when, right now, all I want to do is find something funny or witty to say and I can't. I really can't.
I'm feeling a lot like an alien. Like I'm not from here, nor do I belong here. When I say here, I'm referring to Maryland, and the life here in general.
I've been here for almost four years now, and even I cannot believe it. Within these four years, I have made only two or three friends that I truly love and know are truly my friends. One of them moved away to Florida, so that leaves me with what - one or two?
I want to reach out more and actually have tried some, not a lot, to reach out to others, but I don't really see anyone reaching back out to me.
I know that I'm a mommy, and my son comes first (and with me, almost everywhere I go...believe me, I'm really over it, and would LOVE to have a baby sitter on call...). And, I'm happily married, so I enjoy being with my husband.
However, that doesn't mean that I don't need or want girlfriends in my life.
In fact, when I see other people I try to get to know or at least see on a regular basis enjoying each other's company and having a good time, I feel excluded and alone, like being all by myself in a crowd of people.
It's not that anyone has done anything to make me feel this way, it's that it is the way I feel.
I've said it time and again, I'm so tired of being alone. Really. I know I'm not alone because God is always there, but, as I've said to Him on many occasions, it's nice to have a physical flesh and blood person to hold on to.
I guess I'll keep looking....
I'm feeling a lot like an alien. Like I'm not from here, nor do I belong here. When I say here, I'm referring to Maryland, and the life here in general.
I've been here for almost four years now, and even I cannot believe it. Within these four years, I have made only two or three friends that I truly love and know are truly my friends. One of them moved away to Florida, so that leaves me with what - one or two?
I want to reach out more and actually have tried some, not a lot, to reach out to others, but I don't really see anyone reaching back out to me.
I know that I'm a mommy, and my son comes first (and with me, almost everywhere I go...believe me, I'm really over it, and would LOVE to have a baby sitter on call...). And, I'm happily married, so I enjoy being with my husband.
However, that doesn't mean that I don't need or want girlfriends in my life.
In fact, when I see other people I try to get to know or at least see on a regular basis enjoying each other's company and having a good time, I feel excluded and alone, like being all by myself in a crowd of people.
It's not that anyone has done anything to make me feel this way, it's that it is the way I feel.
I've said it time and again, I'm so tired of being alone. Really. I know I'm not alone because God is always there, but, as I've said to Him on many occasions, it's nice to have a physical flesh and blood person to hold on to.
I guess I'll keep looking....
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