Why can't I be free of you?

Every day, you are with me. Your smile, your laugh. Your eyes. The way you look at me. Your eyes...

I wish I knew what you are thinking right now. I want to look into your eyes again.

I often wonder what you are doing, who you are talking to, what kind of mood you are in. Did you workout? Are you eating well? How are your kids?

Are you dating someone? Do you think it will go somewhere or are you just enjoying the moment? When was the last time you went fishing?

How was your last hike? When is your next one? Who are you hiking with? Are you still writing? I hope you are.

Do you think of me as often as I think of you? Are you sad like I am? Do you miss me at all? Do you love me at all? Did you ever?

Will you always be my ghost that I carry in my mind and my heart until I am gone?

Will I always think of you this way? How do you think of me? Do you think of me?

Do you dream of me like I dream of you? Does your heart ache like mine?

I will always love you. Nothing can change that. Nothing.

I miss you so much.

You just ran across my mind...

I was having a somewhat somber conversation with my husband the other day. We were discussing a friend of ours from high school and some of the sad and tragic things that have happened in his life.

He is an amazingly strong person and a true inspiration to me, well, to both of us. Our conversation then shifted as my husband revealed our friend had called him, and not to return a call, but to encourage HIM and to admonish him to reach for a goal they had previously discussed some time ago.

I was in even greater awe of our friend, and my husband was also because, during his grief, our sweet, loving friend reached out to encourage and move us toward a goal. Wow.

Who do YOU need to reach out to and do the very same thing? Who do you need to call, write, text, email, speak to and encourage them in the midst of whatever YOU are going through?

All of us are going through, coming out,  or going into our own storms and trials. There is something wonderful, beautiful and blessed about encouraging others as you work to encourage yourself. I'm going to reach out to some friends today, and I encourage you to do the same.

Lost in Thought...

Tonight, I've got lots on my mind. This is normal, but, tonight, I'm thinking about old friends, friends I don't see often, best friends, and people I have given my heart to.
You can give your heart, not just to a lover, but also to friends. You can be hurt by a friendship breaking up as much (or worse) as a relationship that was amorous. I know, I went there, but it's true. In some ways, I am still recovering from the loss of sister friends when I was in college.
To be very truthful, my friendships since then have been evaluated in a different light. As much as I love my newer best friends, I wonder if they will know me the way others who knew me before college do. I hope they do. Friends, especially sister friends, are hard to come by, and I love mine as much as I love myself.
I will sit and ponder my thoughts a little more. Before I go, though, the thought of old and current amorous relationships has come to the forefront in my mind. Honestly, I realize that I love hard and deep. I am super intense. If I love you, I LOVE you. No one will love you more, except our Heavenly Father. I mean it.
It has been for this reason that I'm so selective and protective of my relationships. I nurture them, give them the best environment to grow, and, I work hard to make sure to keep negative elements away so that the relationship will thrive.
My goal is to love everyone who has been given to me to love. To show them love beyond what they have known, not obsessively, but deeply, honestly and fully. Trust me, I need my space, too, so I would never smother someone or stalk them, lol. I will, however, love them to life.
Well, I guess that's all I've got for my ramblings and musings tonight. God bless you all.

Peace.