I'm so thankful and so grateful. I guess I need to start with the reason, so I'll keep it short and sweet this time. No elaborate stories or any of the inner analysis that I usually try to bring to my blog each post. Just straight up gratefulness.
So, why am I thanking God and doing backflips in my apartment? (okay, the backflips are truly an exaggeration...cartwheels, yes, backflips, not so much...)
Well, I got my GRE scores today in the mail. And...well...I DID IT!!!! I am in the top 32 percentile in verbal and top 40 percentile in math, excuse me, quantitative reasoning. I also got a score of 5.5 of 6 on the writing section (but maybe that's not such a surprize, huh?).
Okay, why is this such good news? Well, because I studied, maybe a total of 36 hours right before the test, literally. I registered to take the test on Friday, March 6th. I took the test on Monday, March 9th. I haven't taken a test like this since 2000, so that means I was WAY out of the test-taking collegiate zone. Can you imagine? And my score is good enough for the Master's program at George Washington University.
Thank you, Lord!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!
Okay, just wanted to put something happy out there for y'all! Thanks for reading...and I'll be celebrating more than likely for the rest of the week!!!!
I'm so thankful and grateful to God for this blessing. It is something that reaffirms my faith. And, also, it is truly that lil bit of fresh air and the breeze I need to keep on sailing through this tumultuous sea. I am able to do so much...and I'm so glad to have the opportunity to prove it.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
TONI GOT INTO GETTYSBURG COLLEGE
...AND...THEY GAVE HER A FULL SCHOLARSHIP TO BOOT!!!!
Toni, this is for you. Look at God answering all of our prayers. We all have been praying so hard for you, girl. You are intelligent, bright, talented, and gifted, with a great sense of humor. You are witty, pretty, and meant to take over a city...or a town like Gettysburg. :)
With so much love and everything, I just want to say, on behalf of Dray and I, that we are so glad and super excited to have you so close to us. We are so elated and hope that you decide to come up here - whether it be Gettysburg or Georgetown.
And, we promise to treat you like one of our sisters, because, well, we consider you that already.
GOOOOOOO TONI!!! YOU'RE GGRRRRREAT!!!!!
Toni, this is for you. Look at God answering all of our prayers. We all have been praying so hard for you, girl. You are intelligent, bright, talented, and gifted, with a great sense of humor. You are witty, pretty, and meant to take over a city...or a town like Gettysburg. :)
With so much love and everything, I just want to say, on behalf of Dray and I, that we are so glad and super excited to have you so close to us. We are so elated and hope that you decide to come up here - whether it be Gettysburg or Georgetown.
And, we promise to treat you like one of our sisters, because, well, we consider you that already.
GOOOOOOO TONI!!! YOU'RE GGRRRRREAT!!!!!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Facing the Music
...so here I am, finally, with new measurements to talk about. It's totally my fault that I haven't posted them any sooner. I have definitely fallen off the wagon and I need to get back on, for the sake of my health and well-being. It's a new week. It's a new day. I can and I will start over again. This time, I'll start out with my walking, and then we'll progress to the heavy stuff later.
Now, even though I haven't been working out, I have been playing with Sean in the park and dancing around the house with him, not to mention major cleaning projects...you know, like, my entire house? Plus, everyday, whether I like it or not, I have to climb three flights of stairs up and down in order to get to my classroom for Spanish.
Okay, so that's all and it's time for me to quit stalling.
Here's the last set of measurements as you remembered. I had lost some inches. Gooo me!
Chest - 52.25"
Waist - 57.5"
Hips - 54.5"
Arm (Left) - 16.25"
Arm (Right) - 17"
Thigh (Left) - 27.75"
Thigh (Right) - 28"
Here is the new set, freshly measured last night (this early morning, actually).
Chest - 52.25"
Waist - 56.5"
Hips - 56.5" *What is going on here?!*
Arm (Left) - 15.75"
Arm (Right) - 16"
Thigh (Left) - 27"
Thigh (Right) - 27.5"
Okay...I'm dumbfounded, once again. I'm losing in every area except, oddly, my hips. That's a little disturbing...so what does that mean, exactly...? Looks like I need to get busy with some hip-slimming exercises. Oh, and my chest is staying the same also, but it's not getting BIGGER like my hips are (what in the world???)
God is really good. I'm not even sure how I'm pulling this off...so, I'll keep you posted, and I promise I'll start working out again. I expect my hips to do a reverse in the direction they are going...
Thanks for the love and support. I'll see you again soon.
Now, even though I haven't been working out, I have been playing with Sean in the park and dancing around the house with him, not to mention major cleaning projects...you know, like, my entire house? Plus, everyday, whether I like it or not, I have to climb three flights of stairs up and down in order to get to my classroom for Spanish.
Okay, so that's all and it's time for me to quit stalling.
Here's the last set of measurements as you remembered. I had lost some inches. Gooo me!
Chest - 52.25"
Waist - 57.5"
Hips - 54.5"
Arm (Left) - 16.25"
Arm (Right) - 17"
Thigh (Left) - 27.75"
Thigh (Right) - 28"
Here is the new set, freshly measured last night (this early morning, actually).
Chest - 52.25"
Waist - 56.5"
Hips - 56.5" *What is going on here?!*
Arm (Left) - 15.75"
Arm (Right) - 16"
Thigh (Left) - 27"
Thigh (Right) - 27.5"
Okay...I'm dumbfounded, once again. I'm losing in every area except, oddly, my hips. That's a little disturbing...so what does that mean, exactly...? Looks like I need to get busy with some hip-slimming exercises. Oh, and my chest is staying the same also, but it's not getting BIGGER like my hips are (what in the world???)
God is really good. I'm not even sure how I'm pulling this off...so, I'll keep you posted, and I promise I'll start working out again. I expect my hips to do a reverse in the direction they are going...
Thanks for the love and support. I'll see you again soon.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Politics and Bull$%@!
So...
I've been an idiot. I've been on Facebook, quite addicted, I must say, and I've been looking at former friend's pages and pictures, like a dummy. I've also been looking at pages of people who I'm supposed to be friends with, well, so I thought, and seeing all this activity that I was so unaware of.
I guess I was feeling really left out, looking at the pictures and comments and so on, and so forth.
I got really sad about it. Then really angry. Then sad again.
Sad at first because I was hurt by not being included - not a phone call, text message, voice message, e-mail, invitation, post card, facebook post on my wall or in my inbox - nothing.
Then really angry because I've been a friend. I'VE BEEN A FRIEND. Friends deserve to know stuff like that, unless people don't consider them friends. So, I guess I've been putting in time, work, etcetera for nothing. NOTHING.
Then sad again because I realized that being angry accomplishes nothing, and, in all honesty, there is nothing I can do about it. Really. Nothing. So....
I'll be getting over it pretty soon. There is no need to dwell on things like that.
But, as always, it's so interesting to me that people feel compelled to hide their true feelings/thoughts in order to preserve someone else's sense of a situation or circumstance.
I think sometimes, if you know something, you should not disclose that you know if you have no intentions of divulging that information. It is fine to keep a secret. I think it is tacky to admit you know a secret but will not share it. IF you are being held to something told you in confidence, than DON'T tell it! And don't act like you know. Be aloof and discreet.
I say this, not to judge, but to tell, from my own personal experience, what I have found to be true. I have done the former things - I have said, not literally, but figuratively "I know something you don't know". I have admitted I know something but I wouldn't share it. I have been held to things in confidence that I have told others. And I have acted like I knew something, but I just didn't say what.
I was immature. In some instances, I was a young adult, and that made it worse because I should have known better by then, but I felt compelled for some reason to tell someone something they had no business knowing. I WAS IMMATURE.
Trust me, I've learned the very, very hard way, that it is always best to keep your mouth shut.
The sad part about that was, I was never a real blabber mouth as a kid. I guess I got caught up in foolishness, and I adapted, albeit in a negative way, to my surroundings - friends, situations, and places.
I've lost friends, very close and dear to me, over political moves like secret keeping, selective secret telling, and "he said she said" and all of those types of moves for people with political aspirations of getting close to certain people, whatever their motives might have been.
I've lost opportunities and relationships because of bull$%@! like "she said..." even if I didn't say, but people believed I said because I "couldn't keep my mouth shut". None of these things had to be true, but someone just had to have one story that sounded good enough to be true.
Unfortunately, I'm still dealing with this in the grown up world. The ever present political world is not just in Washington, D.C. It's everywhere. There are cliques within your school, your group of friends (especially if there are four or more of you), your workplace, your family (you know this is true), and even your church - maybe especially your church.
How can you navigate through the sea of political turmoil without getting involved in the mess yourself?
Well, I'm learning, albeit in some cases very slowly, to keep your mouth firmly glued shut. Speak when spoken to. Make polite conversation. Dig deeper if you feel the spirit urging you on. Make friends, but show yourself trustworthy. Don't repeat everything you hear, and be very selective about what you say. Smile.
I'm getting to the point where I have really big ears and a much smaller mouth. My parents used to tell me when I was younger that my mouth would get me in trouble one day. IT DID. And, I can promise you, I've learned.
As much as it hurts, I guess, in many situations I will be in throughout my life, I will have to be content being on the outside looking in. That "alone in a crowd" feeling will never go away. I am going to have to try really hard to just be okay with that. I accept it. I just have to get to the point where that is okay. Right now, I want better than that, but right now it's all I got. I've just got to let that be.
I just want to be free of all the politics and bull$%@!. Doesn't look like that will ever happen.
I've been an idiot. I've been on Facebook, quite addicted, I must say, and I've been looking at former friend's pages and pictures, like a dummy. I've also been looking at pages of people who I'm supposed to be friends with, well, so I thought, and seeing all this activity that I was so unaware of.
I guess I was feeling really left out, looking at the pictures and comments and so on, and so forth.
I got really sad about it. Then really angry. Then sad again.
Sad at first because I was hurt by not being included - not a phone call, text message, voice message, e-mail, invitation, post card, facebook post on my wall or in my inbox - nothing.
Then really angry because I've been a friend. I'VE BEEN A FRIEND. Friends deserve to know stuff like that, unless people don't consider them friends. So, I guess I've been putting in time, work, etcetera for nothing. NOTHING.
Then sad again because I realized that being angry accomplishes nothing, and, in all honesty, there is nothing I can do about it. Really. Nothing. So....
I'll be getting over it pretty soon. There is no need to dwell on things like that.
But, as always, it's so interesting to me that people feel compelled to hide their true feelings/thoughts in order to preserve someone else's sense of a situation or circumstance.
I think sometimes, if you know something, you should not disclose that you know if you have no intentions of divulging that information. It is fine to keep a secret. I think it is tacky to admit you know a secret but will not share it. IF you are being held to something told you in confidence, than DON'T tell it! And don't act like you know. Be aloof and discreet.
I say this, not to judge, but to tell, from my own personal experience, what I have found to be true. I have done the former things - I have said, not literally, but figuratively "I know something you don't know". I have admitted I know something but I wouldn't share it. I have been held to things in confidence that I have told others. And I have acted like I knew something, but I just didn't say what.
I was immature. In some instances, I was a young adult, and that made it worse because I should have known better by then, but I felt compelled for some reason to tell someone something they had no business knowing. I WAS IMMATURE.
Trust me, I've learned the very, very hard way, that it is always best to keep your mouth shut.
The sad part about that was, I was never a real blabber mouth as a kid. I guess I got caught up in foolishness, and I adapted, albeit in a negative way, to my surroundings - friends, situations, and places.
I've lost friends, very close and dear to me, over political moves like secret keeping, selective secret telling, and "he said she said" and all of those types of moves for people with political aspirations of getting close to certain people, whatever their motives might have been.
I've lost opportunities and relationships because of bull$%@! like "she said..." even if I didn't say, but people believed I said because I "couldn't keep my mouth shut". None of these things had to be true, but someone just had to have one story that sounded good enough to be true.
Unfortunately, I'm still dealing with this in the grown up world. The ever present political world is not just in Washington, D.C. It's everywhere. There are cliques within your school, your group of friends (especially if there are four or more of you), your workplace, your family (you know this is true), and even your church - maybe especially your church.
How can you navigate through the sea of political turmoil without getting involved in the mess yourself?
Well, I'm learning, albeit in some cases very slowly, to keep your mouth firmly glued shut. Speak when spoken to. Make polite conversation. Dig deeper if you feel the spirit urging you on. Make friends, but show yourself trustworthy. Don't repeat everything you hear, and be very selective about what you say. Smile.
I'm getting to the point where I have really big ears and a much smaller mouth. My parents used to tell me when I was younger that my mouth would get me in trouble one day. IT DID. And, I can promise you, I've learned.
As much as it hurts, I guess, in many situations I will be in throughout my life, I will have to be content being on the outside looking in. That "alone in a crowd" feeling will never go away. I am going to have to try really hard to just be okay with that. I accept it. I just have to get to the point where that is okay. Right now, I want better than that, but right now it's all I got. I've just got to let that be.
I just want to be free of all the politics and bull$%@!. Doesn't look like that will ever happen.
What in the hell...
is really going on? I suppose I should say, to be more accurate, "What in the Earth...?" but, that's just about corny. So, I'll go with the expression that has been crafted and handed down through the years to describe confusion, frustration, and many other things as well, instead.
Right now, in this very moment, I have two very bright spots in my life. They are Dray and Sean. Now, this doesn't discount any of my other family members, it's just that I see these two everyday. And, since I see them everyday, and they are my husband and son, respectively, they are the biggest and brightest.
Especially when each day just seems to get more and more mundane. I'm so tired. I am. This struggle is starting to get to me. Robbing Peter to pay Paul? - I'm so over it. I'm tired of not having just enough to go get a new pair of pants (which I and Dray desperately need - at least one pair each), or a new phone (because my replacement is acting like it wants to short out...), or deciding whether to pay the lights or the water or the cable because we need internet access to look for and apply to jobs. The stress of whether or not we'll make rent has my back all in knots. I haven't gotten my hair done properly by a stylist in over six months, I think, and, although I miss getting my brows done and my pedis, I definitely prefer putting gas in the car. I've stopped working out (yeah, but I do commit to get back to it this week), I've started 'stress eating', and I'm wanting to cry at the drop of a hat, so I'll watch a movie and blame my tears on the movie to play it off. I can't let Dray see me like that...it would break him a little bit.
I know God is preparing us for something amazing. The thing is, the waiting part. The waiting and the struggling is so hard. It's really, really, really hard. Sometimes it is very difficult to enjoy the little things, and recognize the small moments of happiness or the beautiful things we discover each day.
However, I AM an optimist, so I try really hard. For example, each day, Sean is getting more and more verbal. There are whole phrases of things he says to us that are almost crystal clear. It is so exciting! And, he has begun mimicking every thing we say. So, that means we have had a hasty clean up of our language (and trust me, we are still working on that in some areas!).
Also, the lil kids at my school really like having me as a teacher. I wouldn't say I'm overly affectionate or even that nice to them, but they love me. I love them, too. That's why I'm not so nice. Kids need structure and order, discipline and rules. It helps them figure out what to do on their own when they get older. When they don't have anyone saying or showing them "this is appropriate social behavior" or "this is appropriate and respectful behavior towards others", they can create lots of problems for themselves.
Each of us has a choice to do the right thing or the easy thing. I hope and believe I'm helping them to choose the right thing. :)
Of course, with that being said, there are still some lil knuckleheads out there. You just love them, try to teach them the best you can, and keep moving on.
Positively, there is also my small group (yay! I love y'all!), my music ministry (thanks for letting me sing with y'all!), and folks like Nae, Shona, June, and others...
See? I can find some other bright spots besides my husband and son.
But, my reality is tough. Now, I'm not whining or complaining, I'm just telling it truthfully. God is good. Life is hard sometimes. Right now, it's really hard.
Just please, keep us in your prayers, and, thanks for reading.
Don't worry. We will never give up. We will always continue to reach upward and push forward. :)
Right now, in this very moment, I have two very bright spots in my life. They are Dray and Sean. Now, this doesn't discount any of my other family members, it's just that I see these two everyday. And, since I see them everyday, and they are my husband and son, respectively, they are the biggest and brightest.
Especially when each day just seems to get more and more mundane. I'm so tired. I am. This struggle is starting to get to me. Robbing Peter to pay Paul? - I'm so over it. I'm tired of not having just enough to go get a new pair of pants (which I and Dray desperately need - at least one pair each), or a new phone (because my replacement is acting like it wants to short out...), or deciding whether to pay the lights or the water or the cable because we need internet access to look for and apply to jobs. The stress of whether or not we'll make rent has my back all in knots. I haven't gotten my hair done properly by a stylist in over six months, I think, and, although I miss getting my brows done and my pedis, I definitely prefer putting gas in the car. I've stopped working out (yeah, but I do commit to get back to it this week), I've started 'stress eating', and I'm wanting to cry at the drop of a hat, so I'll watch a movie and blame my tears on the movie to play it off. I can't let Dray see me like that...it would break him a little bit.
I know God is preparing us for something amazing. The thing is, the waiting part. The waiting and the struggling is so hard. It's really, really, really hard. Sometimes it is very difficult to enjoy the little things, and recognize the small moments of happiness or the beautiful things we discover each day.
However, I AM an optimist, so I try really hard. For example, each day, Sean is getting more and more verbal. There are whole phrases of things he says to us that are almost crystal clear. It is so exciting! And, he has begun mimicking every thing we say. So, that means we have had a hasty clean up of our language (and trust me, we are still working on that in some areas!).
Also, the lil kids at my school really like having me as a teacher. I wouldn't say I'm overly affectionate or even that nice to them, but they love me. I love them, too. That's why I'm not so nice. Kids need structure and order, discipline and rules. It helps them figure out what to do on their own when they get older. When they don't have anyone saying or showing them "this is appropriate social behavior" or "this is appropriate and respectful behavior towards others", they can create lots of problems for themselves.
Each of us has a choice to do the right thing or the easy thing. I hope and believe I'm helping them to choose the right thing. :)
Of course, with that being said, there are still some lil knuckleheads out there. You just love them, try to teach them the best you can, and keep moving on.
Positively, there is also my small group (yay! I love y'all!), my music ministry (thanks for letting me sing with y'all!), and folks like Nae, Shona, June, and others...
See? I can find some other bright spots besides my husband and son.
But, my reality is tough. Now, I'm not whining or complaining, I'm just telling it truthfully. God is good. Life is hard sometimes. Right now, it's really hard.
Just please, keep us in your prayers, and, thanks for reading.
Don't worry. We will never give up. We will always continue to reach upward and push forward. :)
I've been a bum. I apologize.
Yeah, and I know, many of you may or may not read this because it's been just about a month since I last posted anything.
I currently owe you about two sets of measurements, which I will not be posting this week either simply because it is physically a time of month that isn't going to give me the most accurate measurements. Hopefully, you can read between the lines on that one.
In other news, well, there is plenty to talk about.
Dray's dad is recovering from 'stroke-like' symptoms he suffered this past month, like, a little after I wrote my last post, in mid February. I personally believe he had a full on stroke, but that's what the doctors told the family, so I guess I'll go with that. Thank God he is getting back to his old, sweet, smiling self. Now we've all just got to try to get him to stop working so much...the man is in his late 70s! Sheesh!
There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. We are starting to get caught up with all our financial obligations that we really need to pay. That's always a plus. Thank you to all of you who were praying and sending kind thoughts, words, etc. our way. We are so thankful for family and friends who care.
Also, I'm feeling very frustrated about what is going on with my transcripts and such with GWU. They still have not received all my documents, and I'm very, very, very anxious. I really want to get into this program. I truly believe it is an opportunity I cannot let pass me by, so I'm going to get going on tracking down my documents and finding out why it has taken over TWO MONTHS for some of them to make it to GWU. Goodness gracious!
This blog is primarily for the purpose of updating you. I've got some more coming down the pike that deal directly with, well, the emotional stuff I've got to get out. With that being said, I hope you all continue reading.
If you do read this blog, please become a follower. It would be nice to look on my page and see how many of you are actually reading. Although this is really an outlet for me, I am truly hoping anything I'm writing is helping someone, or, for my friends, allowing you to keep up with what's going on with me.
Thanks for reading. See you soon.
I currently owe you about two sets of measurements, which I will not be posting this week either simply because it is physically a time of month that isn't going to give me the most accurate measurements. Hopefully, you can read between the lines on that one.
In other news, well, there is plenty to talk about.
Dray's dad is recovering from 'stroke-like' symptoms he suffered this past month, like, a little after I wrote my last post, in mid February. I personally believe he had a full on stroke, but that's what the doctors told the family, so I guess I'll go with that. Thank God he is getting back to his old, sweet, smiling self. Now we've all just got to try to get him to stop working so much...the man is in his late 70s! Sheesh!
There is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. We are starting to get caught up with all our financial obligations that we really need to pay. That's always a plus. Thank you to all of you who were praying and sending kind thoughts, words, etc. our way. We are so thankful for family and friends who care.
Also, I'm feeling very frustrated about what is going on with my transcripts and such with GWU. They still have not received all my documents, and I'm very, very, very anxious. I really want to get into this program. I truly believe it is an opportunity I cannot let pass me by, so I'm going to get going on tracking down my documents and finding out why it has taken over TWO MONTHS for some of them to make it to GWU. Goodness gracious!
This blog is primarily for the purpose of updating you. I've got some more coming down the pike that deal directly with, well, the emotional stuff I've got to get out. With that being said, I hope you all continue reading.
If you do read this blog, please become a follower. It would be nice to look on my page and see how many of you are actually reading. Although this is really an outlet for me, I am truly hoping anything I'm writing is helping someone, or, for my friends, allowing you to keep up with what's going on with me.
Thanks for reading. See you soon.
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