Saturday, July 30, 2011

I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Something. :-(
What else can I do?

Friday, July 29, 2011

Bored. Out of my mind

Okay, so I've been at my computer today, and I've been a little bit upset. I think I've lost soooo much of my writing!!!! I'm really nervous, in fact, that I may have lost too much of one of the best stories I'm currently writing.

I've written some of my stories about my cats, and I am trying to remember others, but they're just gone.

In the age of saving everything on the computer, I'm dumbfounded that I cannot find so many of them - most of which were sent into my writing mentor/instructor for critique.

Okay, so where the heck are my stories????

Anyway, I'm bored to death being at home. I've finally gotten the summer blues, and I need to do something, get away, take a vacation...find some new scenery that isn't the four walls of our apartment.

I'm so sick of being in my house.

Also, equally sad is the fact that my son is a certified homebody. Don't let us leave the house...oh, no...he'll be asking if we're going back home in a matter of 15 minutes. Sometimes, even before we've gotten out of the parking lot properly, he'll express his desire to return home.

Ugh. Who's kid is this again? Can't be mine...I was the kid that wanted to be out in the street all day everyday, and most evenings if allowed.

Have you seen the McDonald's commercial with the little boy who's going on and on about all his activities for the day? "And after karate class, can we paint the tree house yellow? And then, can we...?" It's adorable. It also perfectly describes me. I've always been that way, too.

In fact, if the commercial wasn't so recent, I would wonder if someone from McDonald's sent Ronald to spy on my family. ;-p

Anyway, here's my short term goals.

One, I hope to stop being so bored by trying to write something, anything, and to keep busy that way. Maybe if I just start writing, it'll get me into wanting to write more, and the stories will just flow.

Two. Do more with my son, like dragging him to the park when the sun isn't so high in the sky or taking him swimming, especially since we have a membership to a local rec center.

Okay, that's it for now.

Hopefully, these two short term goals will work out and I won't be so freaking BORED everyday.

That's all I've got, y'all. Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Peace.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Ugh!!! I need something...but I dunno what it is...hmmmm....

Monday, July 25, 2011

Sometimes I look at my son, and eventhough it's been 4 years and 24 days, I find it hard to believe I'm a mom. I am so blessed and thankful. I. Am. A. Mommy.
What a great day. Sleep well, friends, and we'll see you tomorrow! :-)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Staying home with my son for over a year showed me I need to be an active on the go mom. Staying at home is too much for me.
Sometimes I wish my husband would like to go out or surprise me sometimes. I get so bored sometimes. :-(

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Busy Saturday today. Fussy/Cranky husband makes for a looong day. Hopefully it'll be a great one! Take care. :-)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Spent the day swimming with the little one. It's been a wonderful summer day, amazing week and I am very thankful. I hope you all can say the same. :-)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Today I learned that I can take off the robe of shame I've been wearing in respect to my past transgressions...I'm so thankful.
Having a great Sunday. So thankful for forgiveness and numerous "do-overs". I hope you all can say the same.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Kind of bummed. Today is my husband's birthday and he STILL had to go to work...boo.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Now, about my friend...

Okay, I hope you know I wasn't fully finished talking about my guy friend. I really do care way too much about this guy. I've figured that out all on my own, thank you very much. :)

Now, here's my biggest issue with him to date.

He's so...secretive or I should say...withheld. Maybe withheld is the better word. Here is what I mean by that. If I ask him a very straightforward question, such as, "What is it exactly that you want from me?" He would answer "Your friendship". I would have to ask several questions to get more information from him that would actually adequately answer my question.

Another example...I told him that I love him and we were saying goodnight, getting off the phone with each other. He couldn't tell me that he loved me too. Instead, I thought I heard him say "I love you" but wasn't sure, and I asked him to repeat himself clearly. He says, "I love getting emails. You should send me one." We got off the phone, and he had to call me back to tell me that he did love me.

Sheesh. I'm not sure if I'm dealing with someone who is so emotionally scarred from past relationships that he is hesitant to acknowledge or admit his feelings or if I'm dealing with one of the best actors on the East coast. :)

Either way, I am trying to develop a relationship (clearly) and I have no business doing so. I should be kicking my own butt for it...trust me, I'm working on it.

And I probably need a twelve step...or thirty step to get through it...because I really do have feelings for him and I've got to work through them and let them go so I can focus on my beautiful marriage to my wonderful and amazing husband with our beautiful life and handsome son.

Okay, I think I've gotten everything off my chest about this...but I feel something lingering only because I just really want the truth out of him. I don't think it will change anything...especially not my marriage (come on, now), but I just feel I need to know.

I'll pray that my quest for knowledge ends here and I can just let this move forward so I can preserve the relationship I do have with him...he is my friend after all. Or...well, what do you think?

I'd love to know.

Peace.

NSWR

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Just chillin'...

and I'm listening to this amazing CD by an artist from Houston (Texas, baby!!) named Alicia James. She is AH-MAZ-ING! I love her vibrato, her tone, her lyrics...I would love to meet her. I'm subscribed to her on YouTube also...I can't get enough of her. Plus, she's a Texas girl, and you know I've got to support our home grown musicians there...I love my home, so, of course, you might think I'm a little biased, but I suggest you check her out yourself and let me know what you think.

http://aliciajames.bandcamp.com

I think she's worth the trip over to visit her site. She's so cool, she has her entire album up to listen to...what artist does that?!

Now, onto some other things.

If you'll recall the other day I posted about a friend of mine that I love very much. Well, last night, the conversations turned rather overtly sexual. To the point that I was uncomfortable and felt like I was crossing a line.

I had a friend over today, and it did me so wonderful to talk to her about the situation. She made me feel better about myself. I felt like a...well...another word for a garden tool. :-(

She made me see that I was not going to cross the line with my friend, first because I am so happy right where I am and second because it appears that my friend likes to play games and be secretive a such, so there's no need for me to worry too much about it...

whew. Thank goodness. So, now I can settle back into my "regular life"...lol.

The next thing on the agenda is school and weight loss. I'm working on being finished completely with school by August (but it appears it will not be until December that I am done with this school thing...boo on that), and the weight MUST come off.

Dray and I really want to have another lil one, and Sean just turned four yesterday - yes, can you believe it? It seems like I was just writing about his second birthday...wow look at time passing...

But, seriously, we want to have another one (I'm praying for twins - a boy and a girl), and I've GOT to lose weight...I can't be this big and have some lil ones inside me...I want them to be the healthiest they can be...and I want their delivery to be easy. :)

So, I know you want to know what the plan is. I think I'm going to keep that under wraps. Trying to do the world wide web accountability thing isn't exactly motivation...didn't really work the last time, so....the goal is to progress and get it all done...yes...get it done. My desire is to be at goal weight before next year rolls around (meaning July 3rd)...and preggers with my twins. (See how I keep saying I'm gonna have twins? I'm gonna have TWINS! ;-P)

All righty. I feel like this post has gotten SO long...I've got so much more to talk about, so I'll try to split up the posts by category. Maybe that will help me organize my 1000 mile a minute thoughts. :)

Peace.

NSWR