The Weight is Over....

and I'm soooo over my weight. I have finally come to the realization that I am attached to each and every one of these pounds I am carrying around. All of these pounds mean something to me.

I am ashamed and upset with myself for allowing my habits and lifestyle to create this very unhealthy and dangerous situation for me. And my family - my husband and son.

So, I'm going to be the change I need to see.

Here, I will become accountable to everyone who reads this, as well as to myself, and at least once a week I will write about what in the world is going on with me in regards to my weight.

I'm so sick and tired of it being the thing that is the white elephant in the room. I'm the largest of all my friends, I cannot go to amusement parks anymore and ride all the roller coasters I can to my heart's desire, I can barely fit into the Southwest Airlines plane seats, and there are some movie theaters I cannot go to because my hips won't fit in the seat.

Enough. No more excuses. I will honestly admit when I have been slacking, and I will hopefully, through these posts begin to put together the pieces and allow myself to shed all this weight - the emotional, mental and physical weight that comes with being the size I am.

Right now, I'm going to post my measurements and I will do so at least every two weeks to see if there is some sort of improvement.

I can't weigh myself accurately without a scale (and if you've read my other posts, you know we can't afford a really good one right now), so the measurements will be my source of accountability for now.

I don't know my actual weight, but I can give you an estimate. The last time I was weighed, I went to the national zoo, and my weight was 315 pounds, almost 316. I believe I have gained weight since then, but since I don't know for sure, let's just say I weigh around 320 - 325.

This is more than I weighed while pregnant with my son, believe it or not. I only gained about 28 pounds during my pregnancy, and I weighed 295 when I went to my first doctor's visit, so I probably had already gained 10 pounds from bloating and being two months pregnant. If you add that together, I weighed between 313 and 323 pounds at my highest while pregnant.

Okay, so I've got to do better. Diabetes runs strong in my family, and I am determined to beat it. I will not allow it to pass on to my son or to his posterity. I refuse, REFUSE to let this disease follow my family down through the generations as it has done for the past 50-60 years or more.

Here's my measurements:

Chest - 52.25"
Waist - 58.375"
Hips - 53.75"
Arm (Left) - 18.25"
Arm (right) - 18"
Thigh (Left) - 29.25"
Thigh (right) - 30"

Um, okay, I know these aren't the best accuracy, because I measured myself, but I'm pretty sure it's a good place to start. As a person that's taken my measurements several times before, I can tell you I see where I've gained in my chest, waist, hips, arms and thighs. This is hurtful to see, but as a person that likes math and numbers, this is how I've got to hold myself accountable and how I will measure most of my success.

There is much work to do. It will not be easy. I will hurt sometimes emotionally, mentally, and physically. But, I will be able to say, after it is all said and done, that I accomplished one of the greatest things in my life.

I hope you join me on the journey. God bless, and I'll be checking in with you soon.