Monday, November 17, 2008

This is for the big girls

And any of you who can relate to the thoughts of this blog.  I wrote this during my pregnancy, but the core ideals still apply, no matter if you are a big girl, such as I am, or not.  Enjoy

Original post, April 4, 2007

Yep.  So, it's official...and I know, it's been a LOOOOONG time since I've written anything here...but I've been sleepin', okay?  I guess it's one of those things that comes with pregnancy.  I'm literally in want of sleep.  Not that I would be the last one to shut down the party or the first one up to greet the day, but I could hold my own...

Anyway, this particular mood was brought on by weeks, actually, of this feeling I've been having.  I normally take a particular pride in my style of being.  I've gotten better over the years with my "image" if you will, and although those of you who knew me in high school KNOW I used to dress and dress well, in college, I relaxed my style a bit...

And let's just say that carried over slightly into my "grown-up" world, but not entirely.  Usually, I still arrived the most dressy person in a crowd, and that never really bothered me...I mean, why not?  Dressing well is nice, and we should care enough about us to do it, right?

Okay, so, that brings us to the present.  I am a walking, talking, HOT MESS.  I look HORRIBLE.  And I'm not going to blame my pregnancy for me walking around with my nails not looking right or my toes (which will be done this weekend, thank you), or my eyebrows.  No, it's not my heighted state of hibernation, or extra sleep.  I think that somewhere along the way I've gotten just...

COMPLACENT

Oh, that's an ouchie.  I honestly haven't seen my stylist, Mirna (shout out to the Locs Studio!) in over six weeks.  So, you know my hair is frizz and kink central.
It's all dry and whatnot cuz I haven't bothered to treat my own hair, which I could do...

And I'm sure that part of my complacency is that my mate is rarely around.  Usually, I'm into getting him "gussied up" and lookin' good, to match me, of course. :)  But, since I don't see him that often, and it's just me looking at me, I've let a lot of things go...

Thank God I believe strongly in personal hygiene, cuz maybe I'd skip a shower on the weekends if I could get away with it on my sleepin' in days...(but I haven't gone that far down the road, folks...)

All in all, I am beating myself up a lil bit for letting myself go this far down a dowdy, frumpy, "fat 'n happy" pathway.  It's not me.  I'm a diva.  Divas don't do dowdy, frumpy, or lumpy.

Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't still be beautiful.  And, hell, if I start giving a flyin' flip, maybe I'll feel a lil more beautiful, and I would like that.  Normally I feel like that lil girl on Willy Wonka that turned into a blueberry (except I'm a "goldenberry") or a big, round, yellow smiley face (with an extra dimpled chin...).

Okay, just wanted to sound off on that...my goal is to do better, day by day...and  hopefully, in getting regular pedis (which I try to do every two weeks...my toes MUST be cute, sorry) and taking more time to enjoy my pregnancy and pamper myself I'll rediscover that inner pretty girl that I just found out about a few years ago anyway...

Ahhhh...here's to finding my prettyness again...and letting go of my big Bertha mentality.

Peace.

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